I wake up
In floods of tears
I dont know who i am anymore
I used to be a fighter
Id get up get going
Battle through the day
With some success
Id be battle weary
Tired
I could do it
I made dinner
I was cprteous.. Well at least i thought i was
Now my sickness
Took me down
Into a tunnel day after day of pain
Struggle
Darkness
To the pit of despair
Now im not my own
Delendant on drugs
To relieve the pain
To be ableto work
To have an income
Pay for daily livingg
What is this living
Now
Panicked feeling
Placing my fet on the ground
To hold me Down
This feeling
Of not being with it
Of looking through eyes
That are not my own
Trying to hold on to this reality
Of life
I cannot see
There is no vision board
Its all nothing
Nothingness in me
Around me
Gloom despair desperateness
Use my ears
To hear
The sounds of life around me
To help me hold on
Feeling the sun
To warm this coldness
Inside and out
Breathe
Breathe
Keep me alive
Holding on
In hope of better days to come
I have to pull myself through this
I have to find what will give me life
I have to find my own strength
Im holding on
Only just