30 years plus
Of believing
I was no good
God had deserted me
God didnt love me
God wanted no more of me
Teachings
From people
Followers of a teaching
A teaching
A teaching of hell damnation
Unless following a strict code
A code of compliance
A code
That if i did not follow
Meant certain death

30 years plus
Ive finally allowed myself
To start believing
God can love me
God can reach into my darkness
And bring light
Its a war
A war deep inside me
Light reaching
Depths of darkness
Placed their
By others
By myself

Hidden
I hid away
Terrified
Of God
Of hell

Its been hell
AWAY FROM God
Not allowing myself to believe i could walk with God and God with me
Because of my sexuality
Because I am Lesbian

Healing has begun
I choose to believe