I feel and I dont want to,
I feel and I want to,
not feeling makes me dead inside, yet I know
feeling brings so many different kind of emotions
they surface quickly quietly running me down
down to the depths of who I am as a person
I didnt answer her call, I let her drown alone
it is something I will forever have to live with
how do I take inside
her taking her life away
the anger written on a piece of paper that carries
so much anger so much loneliness rage flowing
my heart bleeds of the empty space inside me
never will I hear her voice nor see her lovely face
a permanent fix to a lonely life ended on a dark night
I move thru the anger, the sadness, the disbelief
and still I cannot find the peace,
I was not there long
will my path be to get to that place of exceptance
in the now
I will simply continue to feel and heal
as I say good bye to part of my life that shall never be
full of a life that was my family, that was my sister in heart
and long shall my tears flow like rivers of pain
I shall smile again, not today, not tomorrow, but perhaps
when I can see her smile in my minds eyes and know
she is at peace now, she is at rest from her torment
and maybe just maybe she is an angel flying free
and will send a sign that she is at peace finally