LONG AGO LOST by Caroline Jamieson

the life blood is being sucked out of me and terror is is all encompassing,
doom falls like a thick darkness enveloping and there are no cracks… A thick wooden door slams shut and panic sets in and there is nowhere to hide.. No breath in my lungs.
Abandonment.. A scorpios tail..
never knowing when or where she will sting
i breathe my way through another shit storm…

With invisible hand holding,
sharing silent screaming, wordless motion
She speaks words to my child that brings hope
abandonment lessens its vice like grip around me
for some part of my rollercoaster ride.

Hope comes
Moments of life
Within soil
Seeds tiny morsels of hope
Helping them to flourish
Brings joy
A smile that had
Long been discarded
Where once intense torment
Dwelled within my soul
Where drugs
Made possible my escape from hell

Is like dawn
Seeds of Light
Growing in my soul
The lightness that is coming
Bringing growth

Dare i believe
That the light will
Drive the darkness
From within me
To find my truth
my true self
To find freedom
Long ago lost.